Reaching out my hand

My friends list and twitter feed have exploded about the Roseanne reboot.

I watched it. I enjoyed it. I will likely watch again.

A lot of my friends are furious as to what happened to the star. They are furious that she voted for Trump. They are furious that Roseanne Conner is a Trump supporter.

They will not-EVER watch this show.

I will.

I don't believe all Trump Supporters are Nazis. Though I believe all American Nazis are Trump supporters. I am curious how a character who, in the '90s brought an extra kid into her family because  she witnessed a horrible scene between the kid and his mother, could vote to take away the protections of these kids. It doesn't sound so impossible because the man is the President. Enough people voted for him. Not all of them were evil and horrible.

I have a friend--really an acquaintance who I grew up with who supported, and supports the current president. I don't understand her. I really don't. But I won't unfriend her, I won't turn away from her. When my mother was dying, she came.  A lot of my friends, some of whom I am very close to did not. Two of the people who I would have called close friends didn't even call, email, or write. But this person who supported the current president--she sat and read to my mom. My mom's hands shook too much to hold a book and this woman came and read to her. I will not say all Trump supporters are evil because this woman is not.

I know some people who will be angry at me for giving that much. I understand. I acknowledge my privilege. I am Jewish, and we are being persecuted. There has been more anti-semitic incidents since 45 came into the White House. But others are being persecuted worse, and I need to be an ally. Part of being an ally is to learn why people voted for him. If it is simple racism and fear of others then that is one thing. If it is something else... well then I have to find this out.

Why? Because at some point hopefully sooner rather than later this jerk will be out of office. At the very latest in January 2025, we will have a new president.

What happens then?

Do we keep on hating each other? Distrusting each other? Did you know that we now view our political opponents as enemies? Seriously this has got to stop! Somehow we have to view each other as fellow humans and fellow countrymen.

If you voted for the current occupant of the White House, yes, I distrust you, but you are not my enemy. You are a human being. You are a fellow American and I believe there is some common ground between us.

There has to be.

So, I'm going to keep watching Roseanne. Not because I like her, but because I need to understand her. Because if I can understand how one person changes, I can understand how others change. Then I can reach out my hand and say we disagree but we can find common ground.

Some Walk By Night - Microblog Monday

Some Fly By Day.

Love is All Around

I loved these theme songs.

Lotus is sick. I'm sure I'm getting it. I'm watching older TV shows. I'm loving the theme songs.

I think TV theme songs are a lost art and just when I think that we're not going to get any more good TV theme songs Cable and Streaming TV got in the action.

Like Game of Thrones
or

Orange is the New Black.

What TV theme songs do you like?

Microblog Monday - Tales from the snot monster

So, I'm sick.

My husband came home with the cold. He suffered and gave it to Lotus. She suffered and made sure she cuddled her mommy hard. I have been given the cold.

I am the snot monster.

Because Lotus doesn't feel well we have been spending an inordinate amount of time watching children's television. Lotus' new favorite is My Little Pony at Equestria High.  It has been an abrupt shift from Vampirina.

Vampirina is the love child of the Addams family and the Munsters. Lotus loves it. or...she did. This week there was a new episode on. Yay. I wasn't paying attention as I know that a new episode of Vampirina to Lotus is like a new episode of Scandal to her mommy. Basically it means that  the world could explode and she would just be making sure that she got the rest of the show. All of a sudden Lotus cries out--"I don't like this one. I want it off." I looked up to find that one of Vampirina's family has been packed in a crate (by accident) and given away. To say that Lotus found this too close to home would be an understatement. She came on my lap and together we watched how Vampirina went through all hoops to get the family back. We turned it off and hugged for a while. It wasn't too long before we got the question. "Did China mommy leave me by accident?"

There are often so many triggers for adoptees. Tangled, Finding Dory, but I admit I didn't see this one coming. I just have to roll with the punches, much like I'm teaching Lotus to.

And hoping to get rid of the snot monster.

Microblog Monday - Going into the New Year

First of all.
If you haven't donated to Puerto Rico. Click Here.

They are Americans. They need our help and they sure as f**k aren't getting it from the Federal Government.

If you can't donate money, find a Salvation Army or a drop off point and drop off stuff. Again. They need help.

Okay--back?

On 60 Minutes yesterday Oprah hosted a roundtable discussion about how divided we are. She invited people from across the political spectrum. It was interesting. It is what we should be doing, sitting and talking about what is going on.

The thing that scared me though, is that they mentioned civil war.

I am so scared about that. I was so scared that I was filled with anxiety when my daughter came and played with me. I worried that her countrymen and women would see her as other and take her from me. I held her so tight and I started to cry. I tried to pass them off as happy tears but the five year old wasn't buying it.

One of my friends who is of the same political bent as I am got annoyed with me because I say that we have to start people to people who don't agree with us. He's happy in his echo chamber. He pastes the most far-left memes on his Facebook page so people who agree with him already can nod their heads. He has happily un-friended all the people who don't agree with him.

I won't.

I have unfollowed people when I don't want hate to clog my feed, but I make sure they see what I can post. Maybe they will like the picture of my daughter with the colander on her head.

It's the ten days of repentance and I repent of a lot. I want to change in small and big ways.

I need to acknowledge that my pre-diabetes has turned to type 2 instead of burrowing my head in the sand. I need to take steps to take far better care of my health.

I need to exercise. I will be joining the Y or Health Center.

I need to go on social media fasts. I might do that in a way to honor the sabbath. I don't know. Still thinking about it.

I need to forgive.

Yom Kippur is coming up and I need to forgive.

I need to forgive the people who voted for Donald Trump. Some of them are my friends. Some of them are horrified with their decision. I need to forgive my fellow countrymen who are both elated by their choice and horrified at what they have done with their precious votes.

I need to forgive Trump and the current administration. Please understand by forgive I do not mean acquiescing to all that they suggest and do. I mean that I need to stop letting it eat at me. I need to stop giving into the hate and fury that it causes in myself. I need to let go of that hate and channel the anger into fighting the actions--not the people.

I have no illusions as to how difficult that it will be, but the hate and the fury they cause me is eating me up. It is not helping me or our nation.

If we fall into civil war I don't want to say that there was nothing I could do to stop it. There IS something I can do. I can be the change I need to see. I can be better than I have been. That is what Yom Kippur is about. Trying, always trying to be better.

I wish everyone a happy and healthy new year and all who celebrate an easy fast.

We are, none of us, saints

By now, you might have read the brilliant essay written by Joss Whedon's ex wife. It details the reasons for the end of their marriage. It shows that Joss Whedon, one of my favorite creators, was a serial cheater.

Do I look up to him less? Yes.
Am I disappointed in him? Yes.

Am I about to start trashing him and throw out all my Buffy, Angel, Dollhouse, Firefly, Avengers and any future work? No.

People, it is time we let other people be human. People, it is time to stop shooting people down and then saying "we always knew they'd fall." (HT to Tim Rice for the quote.)

Until and unless something comes out about how he coerced these women into having sex with him, I'm still going to call myself a fan. And for the love of whatever please stop saying that because he was their boss and the power was with him that already implies coersion . There are women who will sleep with powerful men to get ahead. There are women who won't. The choice belongs to those women and the men. Was it his responsibility to not cheat on his wife? Of course. But cheating on his wife, repeatedly, makes him a horn-dog. It does not diminish the quality of his work. This is not Bill Cosby, who drugged these women and raped them. This man--and these women--made choices to not honor his marriage vows.

I'm not saying he's perfect. Firefly took lots of pieces of Chinese culture without having a single main character of Asian descent. I was disappointed in Joss because he could have made damn sure he had some Asian actors and didn't. I'm disappointed in him now, to be honest, but I don't think he's going to be upset because of my disappointment.

People we have to stop expecting perfection from every public figure. I'm writing this on a apple laptop. Steve Jobs was a horrible human being. I don't see people throwing away their iPhones.

Are you Jewish? Are you married? Did you play Wagner's Wedding March aka 'Here Comes The Bride' at your wedding? Wagner was a famous anti-semite and did more than just about any other person in that century to foment the hatred of Jews that led to the Holocaust.

There are egregious cases. I threw out all my Marion Zimmer Bradley books--with one exception--when I heard of how she sexually abused her daughter and others. This included a book I stood on a long line so I could get her autograph. I still might throw out my copy of The Mists of Avalon, but I haven't been able to bring myself to do it yet.

I stopped watching and listening and quoting Bill Cosby. I can't tell you how horrified and sad I was when the news of his behavior came out.

But this news about Joss Whedon? No.
Your thoughts may be different.
But until someone writes a character who is as amazing as Buffy Summers, Malcolm Reynolds, or Doctor Horrible, I'm still going to be on the line whenever his next thing comes out.

Emily Gilmore and My Mom

So I've been binge-watching Gilmore Girls.  I'd never seen it, a bunch of people said it was good and I've been enjoying it. I'm only in the first season so no spoilers please.

I thought I'd like Rory and Lorelei and I do.

But I love Emily. It's like having some time back with my mother.

My mother and Emily Gilmore had a lot in common. A rigid look at the world, a fierce love of their daughters, and a way to make sure her disappointment was known without saying a word. No way did we grow up that rich, but we were comfortable and the similarities are there.

There are sometimes when Emily Gilmore is on screen that I have my mom back for a little while--even the parts of her that I didn't like. Maybe especially the parts of her that I didn't like. I haven't been remembering the parts that drove me crazy--I miss them too. But there were times I could have killed her and saved the cancer the trouble. She had her bad points too, and watching Emily Gilmore helps me to remember the whole person.

Somehow this seems healthier than remembering only the good things. The bad things were there too. They had parts of our relationship and there are things I do now that I know she wouldn't have liked. She was not ever perfect. And neither is Emily Gilmore.

But she was mine, and I miss her, and for a little while when I am watching Gilmore Girls I have some time back with my mom.

Microblog Mondays-Time Suck of binge-watching

I have discovered Netflix original programming.

Okay, I joined it and then wow.

Orange Is the New Black--not up to the hype, but a kick ass show.

Daredevil - My husband likes it better than me

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt - Love it. I watched it just for a moment and just got sucked in.

House of Cards - Worth all the hype.


But now I have to get back to writing and blogging and stuff.

Doc McStuffins Is More Than Just a Children's Show

Dear Disney,

We love you.

By we, I mean my beautiful little girl, Lotus, and to a lesser extent--me.

My love is the love of nostalgia. I remember sitting in a movie theater, my hands greasy with popcorn, watching Mary Poppins with my grandmother. I was so excited that I recognized her voice as Maria from The Sound Of Music (which I had seen on TV a few days before) I spilled the popcorn on Grandma. She was so excited, she went to get me more. I remember watching The Rescuers with my brother. He had been complaining that he had to babysit and take me to a  "baby" movie. By the end of the movie, he was planning to return with his friend.  That was Disney magic for me.

My daughter is one of the many who watch Frozen at least once a week. More than Frozen is her obsession (and, as a Trekkie  I don't use that word lightly) with your show PJ Masks. The day is not complete unless she can watch one of those episodes and ask the myriad four-year-old questions that come to her mind. She also loves The Lion Guard and, of course, Doc McStuffins.

Through my daughter's love of PJ Masks I watch how important representation is. You see my daughter is Asian, as is Owlette--her favorite PJ Mask. Representation changes "I love that superhero!" to "I could be that superhero!"

Now I hear that you are considering taking that representation away from millions of African-American children. Why would you do this? From everything I've read the show has a massive following and good ratings. It has won the NAACP Award and the Peabody award for excellence. It is not played out. Moreover it started the most amazing adoption storyline. One that again spells representation for many who are not represented.

Let me end with what happened on Christmas. Santa gave our daughter a beautiful "Frozen" doll kit.  In two seconds she was playing with it.  In two minutes Anna's arm broke off. The next day we went to the Disney store at the mall to see about getting it fixed or replaced. The absolutely amazing cast member examined the doll and then knelt down to talk to my daughter.

"Sweetie, this is a bit beyond me."She told my daughter. "But don't worry, We're going to send Anna to Doc McStuffins and she'll send her right back to you as soon as she can."

"Will she need the surgery?" Lotus asked. Tears were filling her little eyes. She had seen the episode where the toy required overnight surgery with the doc.

"I don't know," the lady said. "that's up to Doc."

"Will Doc hold her other hand?"

"I think Hallie usually does that when the doc is busy." Was the response. Lotus considered it and nodded.

"Thank you!" I said to the cast member.

"Don't thank me." She said with feeling. "Thank Doc McStuffins." Then she took my information and two weeks later we had a brand new Anna doll. For months whenever Doc McStuffins was on, Lotus would get Anna and watch with her. Why on earth would you take that away from the employees of your stores?

Please consider this my request to renew Doc McStuffins.

Microblog Mondays - Fictitious Heroes (TV)

I saw M*A*S*H last night.

I really think that this show was one of the best TV shows ever to air. Amazing characters. A message. Somehow it never got old.  Even though it's been over 30 years since it was on the air, it never feels old.

A lot of that is Hawkeye.

Alan Alda as Hawkeye Pierce. A doctor to his bones. A good man. A kind man. Who drank too much, womanized too much, and was not perfect. He was a hero though. Through and through.

I think he might be my favorite TV hero.

What is yours?

Creator=Owner

HOW DARE SHE!!!

If you watched Grey's Anatomy--you know what I mean.

Warning--this is full of Spoilers.
You've been warned.

Anyway--Grey's Anatomy.

A major, major, character was killed off.

Now the internet has exploded with people who are saying that they will never watch the show again.

Does this sound familiar?

Maybe right after the "Red Wedding" on Game of Thrones?
Perhaps after other books and tv shows were aired where characters died and the people were very upset.

We love our shows. I love my shows, and a main reason is because of the characters.

I believe it started with Colonel William Henry Blake on M*A*S*H. The actor wanted to leave the show. The show was set in wartime so they killed off the character. I was very young when I watched Radar go into the operating room with the devastating news. "There weren't no survivors." People got upset too. I believe it was the first time a character was killed off like that.

It happened with more frequency and now it seems it happens all the time. I don't like it, to be honest. I don't watch TV because I want to follow the character's deaths--I want to be part of the character's lives. I also don't like it when it feels like something patched together because the actor wanted to leave.

That being said, the amount of vitriol aimed at Shonda Rhimes is really astounding.

People watching a Shondaland production who are shocked and stunned that their favorite character has been killed off are the same people going to a Metallica concert and complaining that the music is loud.

This is what she does.

She creates these characters like no one else and she can kill them off. It is her right to do it.

But what about the FANS!!! I've been reading everywhere.

The fans are welcome to watch-- or not. If you don't like what you are seeing--we have no dearth of TV to watch instead. Or even shut off the TV and read a book. Might I suggest the Game of Thrones series by George R. R. Martin?

TV watch: Izombie Ep2: Brother Can You Spare A Brain

I've gotten into zombie so I will be writing recaps of it.

Spoiler Alert--if you haven't watched it well, you'll get spoiled.
Here's my recap.

Brother Can You Spare A Brain

Teleplay by Diane Ruggerio-Wright

Directed by John Kretchmer

Unless the show is Empire or—well I’m not sure what but I’m certain that there are others where the second one is better than the pilot—I was prepared for a little bit of a letdown.  It came, but not as low as I thought it would be. The reason for that would be the introduction of Blane—the other zombie.

First the crime storyline, the brain of the week was an artist who was given a paintbrush through his eye socket. Clive says it is always the wife, but is disappointed when Ravi says that the murderer had to be far taller than the wife.

Live is looking for the zombie who turned her into a zombie. She’s been dreaming of him and with the newfound talent from the artist’s brain does a very good sketch. Enter Blane.

Blane seems like a nice guy—he’s happy to be a guinea pig for Ravi and seems to have fun bonding with Liv over all they have lost. He seems genuinely distressed that he made her a zombie. He asks if she can get him some brains as he has cut all the bad people out of his life.  When Liv makes her special brain delivery she sees him doing what seems to be a drug deal and goes away.

What Blane was really doing was stopping the drug dealers—and getting dinner at the same time. He also got lucky and made another lady zombie—Jackie. I believe she’s going to be big. 

At first I believed Blane. I was sad that there were two out there who were infected with the zombie virus. As the episode progressed he became more chaotic good.  Now I’d say he’s chaotic neutral and all the more interesting for it.  It doesn’t hurt that he’s really nice to look at too.

He is easier to watch than Major. While Major is sweet and perfect boyfriend material and I can see how much she cared for him. It begs the question why on earth she didn’t confide in him about her desire to eat brains. Major brings back Liv’s box of stuff. Then, later, after the mystery is solved Olivia goes over to Major’s house and tries to do him. Major is having none of it—she’s been icing him out for six months and he needs more.

Regarding storyline one—at a party, they realized that if the murerer was on the steps, the woman could have done it.  I did enjoy the fact that it was always the spouse.

Line of the week runner up:

Olivia: She mostly talked about God.

Look of the week runner up: Liv starting to paint for the first time

Look of the week: The look on Blane’s face before he goes all zombie on the guys in the car.

Line of the week:

Olvia: I think he’s a liar and he’s just using me for my brains—Their brains.

NiHao Kai-Lan, thanks for the window.

One thing about parenting that came as a surprise to me was the changes in children's shows. I grew up on Sesame Street and the Electric Company. I grew up without DVRs and VCRs showed up late into my pre-teen years. We did not have entire channels dedicated to children's programming.

This change is not a bad one I thought. I can park her in front of the TV like I was parked.

Well, except that there ware some kids shows that she doesn't like. There are some kids shows that I would prefer the tantrum than let her watch. Some though, after repeating and repeating and repeating, you would rather stick a fork in your skull than listen to it again.

Lately, Lotus likes to climb up on mine or D's lap and watch. We will often look at our iPad or computer but sometimes she says "Watch with me." and we do.

So her favorite show is NiHao Kai Lan. This has often been billed as "The Chinese Dora The Explorer" and while it is accurate, Kai Lan concentrates on emotions. You'll often hear her ask "Does Ho Ho look happy or sad?" Not a bad thing. I've found myself singing the songs to her. Like "Even when you're mad/hitting's always bad. Use your words." and it helps.

When we first brought Lotus home she adored Kai Lan. I imagine hearing the Mandarin made her feel at home. One deviation was when Kai Lan counted. I noticed it once, but didn't really think anything of it.

Another episode and Kai Lan counted to three and Lotus stiffened and looked around. The look in her eyes was terrified. She looked at me and held out her arms and I ran to pick her up. She was almost shaking. The look on her face was "What did I do?" Then I realized that Kai Lan had opened a window into her past.

We do it. Most people who work with kids do it. "If you don't do [blank] by the time I count to three you're in trouble." They must have done it at the SWI (orphanage).  Lotus heard the numbers and wondered what she did wrong. Once I understood I hugged her and told her what a good girl she was. How much she understood at the time I don't know but she calmed down.

I don't know what happened when the nannies reached three--which probably signaled (as it does with us) the end of patience. I hate the fear that was in Lotus' eyes when she heard it.

She seems fine with it now--with one exception. As Lotus' language has expanded she has added some of the Mandarin spoken on Kai Lan to her everyday vocabulary. Tuo-xie instead of the word slippers.

However when she counts--she counts in English, occasionally Spanish (Thank You Dora), but NEVER in Mandarin.

I watch the Oscars

I always have watched the Oscars.

I adore Neil Patrick Harris and I think he's doing a great job.

Bravo also to Lady Gaga and Julie Andrews--my favorite Oscar moment of the evening.

That being said, I am angry and annoyed that it is the whitest, male Oscars.

Sigh.

I don't know if I was more racist before we made the commitment to adopt an Asian child, but I know now that I can't go back to not noticing that Hollywood movies have gotten more white and TV has gotten more diverse. Maybe that's why TV is in a new golden age and movies--aren't.

I watch cartoons with my daughter and I marvel that Doc McStuffins is there. I see Sophia the first has a black friend and an asian friend. After Daniel Tiger went to the Dr's office, they had a real life little girl going to the doctor's office. She was asian and her father was caucasian. This was not lost on Lotus who said "Hey, that's like me!"

I hope Hollywood will remember that the world is changing and growing outward from the whiteness.  If they don't--well then the box office receipts will keep going down as I watch the amazing stories on TV.

Eddie Murphy

More on forgiveness, but first I want to tell a story.

I was around 12 and I went to visit my brother at college. He let me stay up very late and, with his friends, watch Saturday Night Live. It was the first time I saw it and it blew me away. The thing I remember the most was a young black man pretending to be something like Mr. Rogers--except it wasn't. It was Eddie Murphy doing Mr. Robinson's Neighborhood. I fell hard for Eddie Murphy.

http://www.bing.com/videos/watch/video/mister-robinsons-neighborhood/17wy40vod?cpkey=a22cd805-43dc-4883-962d-ef3b7ff8a46a%257c%257c%257c%257c

I remember laughing so hard. As the weeks passed, at home, I would creep to one of the TV rooms in my house, wayyyyy past my bedtime and watch Saturday Night Live. After Eddie Murphy left I watched but like you never forget your first Doctor Who, you never forget your first SNL cast.

A lot has been said about Eddie Murphy's awkward appearance on the SNL40 show. I don't know what was expected. Some say that he should have done stand-up.  Those who think so have never seen Eddie Murphy's stand-up, because if they did they would know that it is not prime-time appropriate--not in the least. He should have come out as Gumby?  I agree with the commenter that said it would be like expecting the High School Quarterback to come back 30 years later and throw a touchdown.

If you know some of the bad blood between Eddie Murphy and Lorne Michaels this article can catch you up.

What I think happened, I think that Eddie Murphy took the advice he probably gives to his children which is, if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.

As for me, I'll be waiting for Beverly Hills Cop 4 and looking forward to it.

Edited to add

Now we know that Eddie Murphy turned down a bit to play Cosby.  When you consider the history between those two--that was a pretty damn magnanimous thing to do.

Friday Five--Five Favorite Current TV Shows

I love television.

I admit I have watched my share of crappy reality shows. However right now I truly believe we are living in a golden age of television. I believe that in about a decade or less, college students will be watching full series of these shows as literature and be asked to comment about the themes. Anyway for my Friday five here are my favorite shows--they are currently on now--or waiting for the next season. 

1) Scandal

I LOVE my Shonda Rhimes. I love Kerry Washington. I love all the acting in this show. I love it that I can't watch it and tweet. I can't watch it with the computer on my lap. I have to pay full attention.  

2) Grey's Anatomy

Did I mention how much I love my Shonda Rhimes? Grey's has not been as even a ride as Scandal. I have gone large chunks of various seasons without seeing them and not even getting caught up later. That being said, recently Grey's has has a rebirth. I miss Christina, but I am still invested enough in the characters to watch. 

3) Agent Carter

The newest show on this list. I love watching a 40's era woman kick some serious ass!

4) Downton Abbey

I know it is not as good as previous seasons. I know it is kinda weepy. I know. I know. I know.  That being said I love Dame Maggie Smith. I was lucky enough to see her onstage in Lettice and Lovage. She is one of my favorite actresses and I would probably line up to hear her read the London Underground map. 

5) Game of Thrones

Peter Dinklage. Enough Said. 

Runners Up:

• How To Get Away With Murder--If the rest of the cast was as good as Viola Davis it would be on here. 
• Castle--This season has not been as good. In fact calling it pretty bad wouldn't be overstating. I'm hoping they can get their act together. It is a comedy. Don't put all this high drama into it--that's what Thursday Nights are for. 
• Doctor Who. I do not like the 12th doctor. I miss my Matt Smith.
• Mad Men

So what am I missing?