Learning from the wrong - Microblog Monday

We took Lotus to one of the last performances of Ringling Brothers and Barnum and Bailey circus. She loved it.

Part of it was the cotton candy and the popcorn and the other snacks.

Part of it was the spectacle.

Part of it was the animals. The lions, tigers (no bears),  dogs and kangaroos.

I loved watching it with her. I loved watching her little face glow with excitement.
I also missed the elephants.

I know it isn't right to say it. But here's the thing, I loved watching them. Also if they aren't hurt--something that isn't 100% sure that was true--I think that it gives people an opportunity to see them in person and to care. At a party I met a friend of a friend and she works at the Bronx Zoo--in the bear section. She first became enamored of bears when she saw them as a child at the circus.

One of my hobbies is history--learning, reading, writing.

Someone asked if I had any cringe-worthy musical theater shows that I loved.
I don't.
And I do.

The way Native Americans were portrayed in Peter Pan and Annie Get Your Gun is risible. It is disgusting.

But.

The songs Ugg A Wugg and I'm an Indian Too from Peter Pan and Annie Get Your Gun are so racist I cringe. I won't link to them, but you can find them.

That being said, I was seven years old when I heard I'm an Indian Too. It led to a lifelong fascination with Native American culture. My mother suggested I read the myths and then my parents took me out west to see the land they fought for.

Without those bad examples, I wouldn't have the fascination. I wouldn't have learned how to do the good examples.

Sometimes good can come from bad.

Microblog Monday--What next

There is a lot of shit going on in the world.
Innocent black men being murdered by policemen on a power trip.
Innocent policemen being murdered.
A horrific attack on adults and children in Nice.
A coup going on--or not--it seems to be unsure in Turkey.
Likely between the time I post this and the time you read this there will be something else unimaginably horrible happening.

Seriously I tried to think of a good post that would somehow lend words to these horrible tragedies.

I want to comfort those who mourn.
I have no words.  How do I tell the families of those grieving their loved ones anything. I didn't know these people and policemen and innocents who were killed. Yet, my world is diminished because they left it.

For the politicians who can't get it together to agree that guns don't belong in the hands of children without a lot of restrictions, I want to do what my daughter's preschool teacher does. When two children are fighting, the teacher sits them down looking at each other. They have to say one nice thing about the other and then put a jigsaw puzzle together. If they refuse to do even that they are put on the "get along" seat until they can. I would like to see Harry Reid and Mitch McConnell on a get along couch and then doing a puzzle.

I want to fix something--and I don't know how to fix it.

How would you fix the world? What change would you like to make that would be snowballing?

Doc McStuffins Is More Than Just a Children's Show

Dear Disney,

We love you.

By we, I mean my beautiful little girl, Lotus, and to a lesser extent--me.

My love is the love of nostalgia. I remember sitting in a movie theater, my hands greasy with popcorn, watching Mary Poppins with my grandmother. I was so excited that I recognized her voice as Maria from The Sound Of Music (which I had seen on TV a few days before) I spilled the popcorn on Grandma. She was so excited, she went to get me more. I remember watching The Rescuers with my brother. He had been complaining that he had to babysit and take me to a  "baby" movie. By the end of the movie, he was planning to return with his friend.  That was Disney magic for me.

My daughter is one of the many who watch Frozen at least once a week. More than Frozen is her obsession (and, as a Trekkie  I don't use that word lightly) with your show PJ Masks. The day is not complete unless she can watch one of those episodes and ask the myriad four-year-old questions that come to her mind. She also loves The Lion Guard and, of course, Doc McStuffins.

Through my daughter's love of PJ Masks I watch how important representation is. You see my daughter is Asian, as is Owlette--her favorite PJ Mask. Representation changes "I love that superhero!" to "I could be that superhero!"

Now I hear that you are considering taking that representation away from millions of African-American children. Why would you do this? From everything I've read the show has a massive following and good ratings. It has won the NAACP Award and the Peabody award for excellence. It is not played out. Moreover it started the most amazing adoption storyline. One that again spells representation for many who are not represented.

Let me end with what happened on Christmas. Santa gave our daughter a beautiful "Frozen" doll kit.  In two seconds she was playing with it.  In two minutes Anna's arm broke off. The next day we went to the Disney store at the mall to see about getting it fixed or replaced. The absolutely amazing cast member examined the doll and then knelt down to talk to my daughter.

"Sweetie, this is a bit beyond me."She told my daughter. "But don't worry, We're going to send Anna to Doc McStuffins and she'll send her right back to you as soon as she can."

"Will she need the surgery?" Lotus asked. Tears were filling her little eyes. She had seen the episode where the toy required overnight surgery with the doc.

"I don't know," the lady said. "that's up to Doc."

"Will Doc hold her other hand?"

"I think Hallie usually does that when the doc is busy." Was the response. Lotus considered it and nodded.

"Thank you!" I said to the cast member.

"Don't thank me." She said with feeling. "Thank Doc McStuffins." Then she took my information and two weeks later we had a brand new Anna doll. For months whenever Doc McStuffins was on, Lotus would get Anna and watch with her. Why on earth would you take that away from the employees of your stores?

Please consider this my request to renew Doc McStuffins.

Why Holocaust Remembrance Day Matters

The first time I remember hearing about the Holocaust I was in grade school. The music teacher, talked about a man who was in charge and didn't like anyone who didn't have blonde hair and blue eyes. Since I had blue eyes it didn't scare me.

I went home and asked my mother about it and she explained more about Hitler and what it would have meant to our family because we were Jewish. This started a fascination with the Holocaust that grew as I met survivors.

Most of the survivors I met have joined their families in the afterlife. The full-throated NEVER AGAIN has diminished to Never Again and soon will diminish further as we lose the survivors to history.

I have been told that those who lived through World War II have been very concerned about the rise of Donald Trump. It brings back many memories for them. A man who panders to the worst of people and allows--no--encourages violence at his rallies helps the World War II comparisons.

So what can we do?

Do you know someone who isn't registered to vote--help them to register today.

See how you can help the congressional and Senate races.  If you can't get behind Hillary Clinton, find someone who you can behind.

Don't forget.

Don't forget that Hitler came to power because good people did nothing.

Don't forget that Hitler came to power because people did not take his Jew-hating talk seriously.

Don't forget that Hitler caused a lot of problems before he was stopped.

Don't forget!

Microblog Mondays - Between the World and Me

I am caucasian--or as my daughter says "peach".
I have privilege, and I am very much aware of it.

I did not rage like people with black skin at the death of Treyvon Martin, but I did indeed rage.
I did not weep the way my friends with black skin wept at the deaths of Eric Garner and people too numerous to name, but I did indeed rage.

So when a friend suggested I read Between the World and Me by Ta-Nehisi Coates, I bought it on Audible and waited.

Today I listened to it.

It blew my mind.

I felt so very many emotions.

Shame.
Discomfort.
Awe-struck.

This is a brilliant piece of work. It won numerous awards last year and deserved every one of them. It is not an easy read. It is not comfortable. But it is important.

I highly recommend it.

Now I ask--what books have you read that made you uncomfortable? Do you recommend them or not?

I watch the Oscars

I always have watched the Oscars.

I adore Neil Patrick Harris and I think he's doing a great job.

Bravo also to Lady Gaga and Julie Andrews--my favorite Oscar moment of the evening.

That being said, I am angry and annoyed that it is the whitest, male Oscars.

Sigh.

I don't know if I was more racist before we made the commitment to adopt an Asian child, but I know now that I can't go back to not noticing that Hollywood movies have gotten more white and TV has gotten more diverse. Maybe that's why TV is in a new golden age and movies--aren't.

I watch cartoons with my daughter and I marvel that Doc McStuffins is there. I see Sophia the first has a black friend and an asian friend. After Daniel Tiger went to the Dr's office, they had a real life little girl going to the doctor's office. She was asian and her father was caucasian. This was not lost on Lotus who said "Hey, that's like me!"

I hope Hollywood will remember that the world is changing and growing outward from the whiteness.  If they don't--well then the box office receipts will keep going down as I watch the amazing stories on TV.

The color of the hand holding the guns

I have heard it from adoptive parents.

"When it comes to me and my child, I'm color blind. I don't see that they are different."

I'm not going to look at their faces and say, "bullshit", but that is what I think.

Also the kids in question-- they are not fooled. They know something is different about their color from your color. Lotus has noticed it. She points out that Mommy and Daddy have blue eyes and she has black eyes.  I explain to her it is because China Mommy had black eyes and she's okay with that. But she still notices the difference.

I think that people believe that children don't see skin color because it just doesn't matter to them. Are you fun and running around and playing? Yes? Then come play with me. Are you pushing me down? Yes? Go away.

It really is that simple.

At one of our local malls there is a mini-play area for the kids. While I was dealing with the heart of Infertility or the worst parts of The Wait, I couldn't go near it. Now with my darling 2 and a half year old, it is a godsend.  She's still kind of little for it, but it is fun.

One of the first times we went she was making her way around, slowly as this was right after she started walking. There was a little boy, well, not that little as he was around 6 to her 2, and he was a BIG little boy. Not fat, but muscular.  He was also black. He bounded up to Lotus and I nearly intervened. I wasn't sure what he wanted or why he ran over to her so fast. It turned out he thought she was closer to the edge of the slide than she was and didn't want her to fall. He then, gentle as a man could be, held his hands out and helped her to sit on the slide. They went down together, both yelling Wheee!!!  He then became her protector. If other kids came too close he yelled at them--"Hey, be careful of the baby here!"  They played for nearly a half hour.

I sought out his mom and complemented his patience and caring demeanor. That's how I found out he was six--his mom told me. I was stunned to find out he didn't have younger siblings--but a ton of younger cousins. We were chatting and I said what a fine man he will turn out to be. The woman sighed and said "As long as he stays away from Florida with bags of Skittles," alluding of course to Treyvon Martin.  I felt very white. She looked at me and seemed to be ready to apologize. I shook my head and we talked about how these boys and men who have been getting killed by people were once little boys. I said that I had almost said something when he came running up. She looked at me, "He's a big kid running towards your little one--of course you're going to notice. But you didn't have a gun in your hand and you didn't shoot it. We've got to get the guns out of their hands."

It was nearly a year ago when I had this conversation. Before all the stuff that happened recently. I think about it a lot. I think about the main question. How do we get the guns out of their hands?