So I've been binge-watching Gilmore Girls. I'd never seen it, a bunch of people said it was good and I've been enjoying it. I'm only in the first season so no spoilers please.
I thought I'd like Rory and Lorelei and I do.
But I love Emily. It's like having some time back with my mother.
My mother and Emily Gilmore had a lot in common. A rigid look at the world, a fierce love of their daughters, and a way to make sure her disappointment was known without saying a word. No way did we grow up that rich, but we were comfortable and the similarities are there.
There are sometimes when Emily Gilmore is on screen that I have my mom back for a little while--even the parts of her that I didn't like. Maybe especially the parts of her that I didn't like. I haven't been remembering the parts that drove me crazy--I miss them too. But there were times I could have killed her and saved the cancer the trouble. She had her bad points too, and watching Emily Gilmore helps me to remember the whole person.
Somehow this seems healthier than remembering only the good things. The bad things were there too. They had parts of our relationship and there are things I do now that I know she wouldn't have liked. She was not ever perfect. And neither is Emily Gilmore.
But she was mine, and I miss her, and for a little while when I am watching Gilmore Girls I have some time back with my mom.