Saturday, February 21, 2015

Pride of Daycare

I am a New Yorker. I should also state that I am a New York Mets Fan.

Why is this important? Because I speak English and I speak fluent fuck.  Since we got Lotus we have accepted the fact that she will be the child who will tell other children how to curse and what they mean.

As Robin Williams once said,

"Oh what a sweet little boy!"
"Oh, it's the Williams boy!"

This was always going to be our child, adopted, bio or both.

So when I swore in the car with Lotus in the backseat, I barely noticed how she picked up the word "Asshole."

Yeah, you know where this is going.

I was picking her up at daycare when one of her teachers motioned me over. This is Miss S. She loves Lotus as if she were her own and Lotus adores her. Having "aged out" of her care, Lotus runs to give Miss S. hugs when she sees her. It is wonderful knowing I'm leaving my child with someone who adores her so much.

"Did you hear about what Lotus did yesterday?" She said with a grin.
"No..." I said warily.
"So she was playing with a toy and a little boy walked over to her and grabbed the toy out of her hands." Miss S. said.
"Did she hit him?" I asked.
"Lotus? No. She looked after him, and said, perfectly, 'Asshole!', found another toy, then went back to playing. The lead teacher had to leave the room she was laughing so hard."

I can't say how proud I was. She not only swore correctly, but she used the word appropriately. Now to teach her about when not to swear.


  1. hello from ICLW!

    I'm so sorry for the loss of your mother... I'm so sorry you don't have her to call when Lotus does something like calling another child an asshole for taking her toy (also - I love your child for that, that's awesome. and if it has anything to do with loving that your child says asshole, I'm from NJ Bee-Tee-W and concerned that my son will pick up MY cursing... wouldn't the two of them make a pair!)

  2. I left so hard I snorted. My son has started saying, loudly, "what the H?" I'm not sure where he got that from. I would've taught him the entire word…

  3. Haha, this is awesome. You're giving her exactly the skills she needs to succeed in New York! (And hey, as our dear Frank once said, if she can make it there...)

  4. Haha, we just went to dinner with a fellow toddler parent and had this same conversation! Our daughter has somehow managed to use the F-word only once, during a football game, but not out of any restraint by us :)

  5. Hilarious! My daughter is only 15 months old and not saying much but I have a feeling that she is going to be swearing as well as my husband and I haven't even started to try to curb our mouths.....

    Here from ICLW.

  6. hahaha. My kids will learn swearing from me, that's for damn sure. S is constantly on my case about it. But, today, he was on speakerphone in my care and sure as sh-t, He went on a rant blah blah blah blah F-ing blah blah blah. I had great fun in telling him that if X starts using that word in the next couple of days it's all his fault. Not mine.

    1. In my car, not care. Good grief, I can't even type on a keyboard anymore.