I told this to my beloved D and he said of course. "You'd save me, and then together we'd save Lotus."
That ended it.
To say that I have been--a challenge--to live with the last few weeks would be the king of understatement. As my unemployment has run out I'm panicking about money--though we have a cushion. I'm feeling low--though I have been considering becoming a stay at home mom. I'm a jittery mess.
Yesterday I went insane trying to figure out what to do for dinner. I huffed at D. Yelled. Slept. Cuddled Lotus who was in a big "let's throw things at people" mood. I cried a lot.
Through it all, my husband hugged me, calmed me down and let me lean upon his amazing shoulders. He makes it clear that he doesn't care what I do, as long as I do what I want. I have screwed up a lot of things in my life. I feel bad about a lot of things in my life--but I am so, so, very lucky that I took this man's hand under a wedding canopy and promised my life to him. I'm so very grateful he promised his life to me as well.