Monday, May 29, 2017

Microblog Monday - The Unasked Question

Lotus is 5 now.

I'm calling this stage the question stage.
"Why are skunks stinky? Why is poopy brown? Why is it raining? Why is the sun shining? Why did that Octonaught do something?"

I love the curious mind behind the questions.
I wish she would actually listen to my answers instead of repeating the question again and again and again.

But there is one question that has not been asked.
"Why was I left to be found?'

We talk about her adoption often if not daily.

"Why do I have brown eyes?"
"Because China Mommy has brown eyes."

"Can we go visit China Mommy?"
"We don't really know who she is."
"Google her."

We talk about how she lived in the orphanage and how the Aya took care of her. We talk about Aya and how she smelled and tasted. How it is okay to miss her Aya and I'm not mad that she does. We've talked about D's biological mommy and how Grandmom adopted D just like we adopted her.

She asked me once if Daddy was mad at China mommy. Then she rephrased her question to mean his biological mommy. I said she should ask Daddy. She gave me a look and repeated the question. I said that yes, sometimes Daddy is angry at his bio mommy. Her sigh of relief was huge. I asked if she was mad at China mommy.

She gave me one of those looks--the one that makes me wonder if there could possibly be a seventy year old woman gazing out of my child's eyes. Then she nodded. I told her it's okay to be angry. Then she asked me, "Is China mommy mad at me?"

I said no. Then I braced for it. "Why did she leave me?" And it never came.

It will. I know it will. Then I will have to talk about a cultural preference for girls. I will have to explain about the one-child policy. I will have to state my own ignorance.

But until then, I'm happy and exasperated to answer the other myriad of questions she has. Like a few days ago she asked, "Mommy, what's an asshole and how come so many of them drive?"

1 comment:

  1. Answering questions is the best, most important parenting function. The clearer and more honest the answers, the more the questions will flow--has been my experience.

    Mommy, what's an asshole and how come so many of them drive? This one rolls through my head often. ;-)