Tuesday, April 28, 2015


I don't do internet rants.

What I mean is, generally if someone says something stupid or does something stupid I roll my eyes and click away. I plan to this time as well--except first I have to say something about it because, quite frankly I'm annoyed.

Buzzfeed posted this thing. 31 images that will take you back to the moment you became a mother.

I clicked on it and all there were were women who have just (as in recently)pushed babies out of themselves. As Seinfeld used to say--not that there is anything wrong with that.

Well, except where there is. Except when someone believes that this is all that is required to be a mother.

I'm a mother and I have a problem with that.
I became a mother twice.
First in the office where I used to work when I saw my daughter's face for the first time.
Second--and most important--four months later when I was handed a screaming child. I grasped her and started to sing and she stopped crying and looked at me.

I became a mother that day.

But this isn't only about me.

What about the woman who becomes a mother when she opens her door to a sullen and terrified sibling group who are carrying trash bags (!) of their belongings?

What about the woman who becomes a mother in a courtroom after a long wait. A family erupts in joy and even the judge can't stop wiping his eyes?

What about the trans woman who is handed a child created by consensus and science and the child  grasps his mom's hand?

What about the teacher who brings a new pair of shoes to a kid who desperately needs them--but pretends they are old shoes to save the child's pride? She keeps in touch with the child long after the kids leaves her classroom and is invited to the child's wedding? Isn't she a mother?

What about the aunt who always listened and is woken up at 2:30 in the morning because her niece needs to talk and no one else listens like she did?  Isn't she a mother?

Mother is not only a noun-- it is a verb. One of those definitions is "to care for or protect like a mother."

Please remember it.

And now I will click away, turn off the computer, and go mother my child.


  1. Rant away! The whole thing is bullsh*t. Argh.

  2. Well said and a useful reminder. You have made me think, thank you. x