We hosted a seder--13 people.
I had an Easter Egg Hunt for Lotus.
I observed the anniversary of my mother's death.
I observed Passover.
By observed passover, I mean I observe it in a way that seems right to me. I abstain from all bread and pasta products. I still eat corn and rice because that's what I do.
It still is hard. Matzah with butter and salt taste amazing on the first night of passover. Matzah with butter and salt taste absolutely disgusting on the seventh night of passover. By the fifth or sixth day I want pasta with all the desire of someone who wants to win the lottery. When passover is over we go to our favorite Italian restaurant and I dig in and it tastes amazing.
I don't know why I do this though. My parents never kept passover. They were accountants and ridding the house of leavened items right before April 15th was going to make them go insane. I know I tried it on a dare from a frum (religious) former co-worker. I liked it. I kept at it.
I don't like it now. I mean, I do it but I kvetch about it.
How many things do you do with no knowledge of why you do it and complaining all the way?
I can't think of any (surely there are things) but I love that you ask the question.
ReplyDeleteA teacher I had once had us list things we do out of love and things we do out of obligation. She didn't instruct us to change anything, but merely to be mindful of what was driving us in different moments.
Now I'm hungry for pasta.
I so hear you with this one, except that I never think matzah tastes amazing. I eat it because I have to eat it. But I was done with Pesach before it even began. It was particularly hard this year. Nothing sounded appealing to eat.
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