Seesaw

I miss my baby.

Lotus is still fine (thank Gd), and she is tackling the world with her three year old will.

I'm no longer home when she gets home. I'm still at work. I miss the rush of "what we did in school" that she would say when she came through the door. I miss cuddling with her for a half hour watching Team UmiZoomi and listening when she said someone was "not nice."

I like my job. I like the money. I like the fact that the money pays for the dance lessons Lotus adores.

I don't like that I can't go with her and see her excitement.

I'm in the middle of the sadness of the working mother. Lotus is going to be our only child--I'm not getting another shot at this.

I love that D has the summer off and that he can take her and be there for her. I love that they are becoming closer. The last few days Lotus has been back in our bed in the middle of the night, she called out for Daddy to pick her up and get her there. I was happy/sad. Then she grabbed me and held me close.

I love that she is learning that I will come back. I love that the time we spend together is even more special because there isn't as much of it.

But I miss my baby.