So I have a new job.
I'm settling in.
It's a contract position, which is what we used to call a temp position. What happens though is that after six months if I want a job in the company I can start looking.
I want a job in the company. I want a job in my department as they are filled with really nice people. Or at least that is how it seems so far. But that's not what this is about.
Today I got a call from my liaison at the temp agency. I swear when I realized it was her, I thought that I was going to be let go. I had a minor freak out.
It was a "just to see how things are going" call.
All is fine.
I freaked out for nothing.
It occurred to me that as she gets older, this is what my daughter will be feeling on a regular basis. She already gives us these amazing hugs saying "You Came Back!" I hate like hell that she worries about this.
I mentioned this to my husband, who is also adopted. He says that yes, no matter what, there's this little wonder if you really get to stay with these parents.
I thought of the Princess Bride-- and the above quote.
I don't know what to do about this. I don't know how to make it better and I want to make it better. All I can do is try to be there for her and give her lots of hugs and make her laugh a lot.
And let her know that I love her. And let her know when she wants me to be there--I only have one answer. "As you wish."
I love this, not just because it's references the Princess Bride, but that it touches on a very real stressor that some people live with forever. And you're right: there is nothing you can do to remove it. The only way forward is to reassure and love.
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