Mom's teeth

I'm having teeth problems.

I have lousy teeth. I have had more root canals than most people and well, lousy teeth.

I found out that one of my crowned teeth needs to come out. I'm not happy about it.

The dentist recommends an implant after the tooth is removed. Basically if I try to put something else in, I will have to root canal and crown two teeth that aren't that way already.

And it stinks.

I find though, what I miss most is calling my mom after dentist appointments. I'd always fuss at her that of all the things she gave me she had to throw in her lousy teeth.

So I cried about that.

Now I'm thinking of things I specifically got from my mom.

Fearlessness about recipes.
I will always try a new recipe. Most of the time they come out okay. Sometimes they come out great. Sometimes they suck but we tried lots of new recipes from mom.

Love of entertaining.
I LOVE cooking for people. I love hosting the big dinners. I'm having 16 people for passover in a few weeks and I love it. In spite of the drama I liked hosting Thanksgiving. Mom loved to have my friends over for parties. I hope when Lotus gets older that ours is the home where the kids hang out.

Love of reading
I have no memory of not knowing how to read. I was around Lotus' age when I learned. I do remember reading Tales of a Forth Grade Nothing and getting lost in the book. I remember thinking --oh, that's why why mom is always reading.

In a few weeks it will be a year that we lost her. It doesn't hurt like it did. But there are days I just want to rest my head on mom's shoulder and be with her.  And today to complain about my teeth.