Mitzvot

My mother was big on mitzvot.

For those who aren't Jewish, mitzvot is the plural of mitzvah.
Mitzvah means a meritorious or charitable act according to Merriam-Webster.

That covers it, but it doesn't.

Mitzvah is doing something to help someone else.

Listening to a friend go on and on and on and on about the ex that she now wants back.
That's a mitzvah.

Helping someone move.
Cooking for someone who is sick or bereaved.

I can't count the times I would come home and see a (former) mayonnaise jar of soup on the kitchen table with a post-it telling me where it was supposed to go. Before I drove it was for a neighbor I could walk to. After I learned to drive it could be for a relative. Mom believed in mitzvot.

Today I did a mitzvah. One of Lotus' preschool teachers is battling breast cancer. She put a call out on Facebook asking if someone could drive her to chemo. I said yes.

It made me think of the times I sat with my mom at chemo. Lotus went with us and charmed the other people. I told her that she had done a mitzvah.

The thing that I want to talk about this is that for the time I was with her, I didn't think of myself and my lousy job prospects. I didn't think of the occupant of the White House and how he and the Congressional Republicans are ruining the country. I was there. Listening. I was present.

I think I need to do more good deeds. Then maybe if I do more good, the people I do good for will do more good deeds. Maybe we could talk about the good that we do and maybe it can be more than the sh*t that the congress does.

Maybe.

In the meantime I think that I will be trying to make this little corner of the world better. It can't hurt.

What is something someone has done for you?

Microblog Mondays - F**k Cancer.

Today I walked my daughter into daycare. Her favorite teacher (Miss S) was sitting with her head wrapped in a kerchief. It was a new look for her and I thought it might be religiously based.

No, she has cancer.

She started at the daycare a few weeks after Lotus did. At 18 Months, Lotus would see her and roll over to her as fast as she could. (She didn't crawl well until after she learned to walk--whatever.) Lately Lotus has wondered if Miss S. had been mad at her. I told her no she probably had other stuff on her mind.

Did she ever.

Cancer took my mom from me. Not the lung cancer that I feared as a child since my mom smoked two packs a day until I was around 10. Not the breast cancer that I thought would claim her when they found a malignant lump due to her due diligence with self-exams. Cervical/Uterine cancer. I put the slash in since by the time they discovered it it was stage 4 and no one was sure where it started.

I told Miss S. about an organization that was so helpful to me and to my mom.  They are called Imerman's Angels You contact them and they will provide you with a mentor. They will provide your caregiver with a mentor so you can talk to people who have been where you are. My mom's mentor was Carrie and she had been through what mom had and mom talked to her for hours. When mom passed, Carrie sent us a card that was so lovely.

For those in your life who might be dealing with this hellish disease, point them here. And if you need a place to donate money--same goes.

Microblog Monday--Why you were cut

My sister's sister-in-law, H,  was let go after 20 years at her job.

To be totally honest, we have never been close, but she's machatunim and that's family. What's more she spent the better part of this past year undergoing major chemo and radiation therapy for (I forget the stage--but it was higher than 1) breast cancer. 

Oh yeah, her insurance went with the job--she's trying to see what she's supposed to do now. Thank heaven for Obamacare. 

She was assured that her health had nothing to do with the reason she was cut. 

And to this I say, bullshit. 


A friend just lost her job. She had been there for a dozen years.  It came three days after she finally got a positive pregnancy test after years of dealing with infertility, and is the result of her successful IVF.  As many readers know, IVF can lead to absences at work. She asked if this had something to do with it. 

She was told it did not. 

Again to this I say, bullshit. 


Almost two years ago I lost my job of ten years. I lost it shortly after I got back from FMLA leave. Three months to be exact. I insisted on taking the full FMLA leave I had a right to, instead of just the 5 week adoption leave which I acknowledge my former company was generous enough to give. 

If I had given birth to Lotus, I'd have been entitled to 3 months leave, but I'm not going there now. 

Three months after my return I was cut. I was told it had nothing to do with my new parental status. 

Again, to this I say, bullshit. 


I think that this is happening a great deal and I am fairly sure it is underreported. I think this is happening primarily to women who have health issues. If you know someone who had something like this happen, please comment and let me know. 

If you think I'm wrong, also please let me know. 

Thanks.