Yesterday was the Tony Awards.
Since Lotus came home we have watched the beginning of the Tony Awards together. The first time, when Neil Patrick Harris hosted, she adored. We kept it on our DVR for ages because she would love to watch the first number over and over. Then, when Hugh Jackman hosted the Tonys and began it by bouncing around Lotus jumped instead of walked for weeks. Last year she was getting over being sick, so I watched the Tonys after she went to sleep. Because Lotus loves some of the Hamilton soundtrack ("Play the shot song, mommy!" ) I was looking forward to watching some of the Tonys with her.
She liked the opening song, then got bored and played by herself for a bit. She's four, she does that now. But she crawled back on my lap when I started to cry listening to Renee Elise Goldsberry's acceptance speech.
Renee Elise Goldsberry played Angelica Schuyler in Hamilton. She won their first award of the night. But the part of her speech that made me cry was this.
"and lastly I would just love to say that if you know anything about me, I've spent the last 10 years of my life what some would consider the life blood of a woman's career just trying to have children, and I can testify in front of all of you that the Lord gave me Benjamin and Brielle and then he still gave me this! Thank you!"
I cried because there, at the pinnacle of her career, a woman spoke about infertility. I cried because there was someone who knew what I had gone through. There was a woman who had spent time with a sore ass because of the meds and a battered heart as she cried after a failed cycle.
She played a Schuyler sister, but she is my IF sister. She took the time out of her triumph to claim her kinship. I held my much-prayed-for child on my lap and cried tears of happiness for her triumph.
When you are dealing with infertility and fighting the battle of your body you have comrades in arms. People you would never have imagined understand you and have been where you are. God bless you Renee Elise Goldsberry, and give you all the luck and craziness of your children. You have a sister here--in me. And if you wanted to get your sister tickets to Hamilton...I would't mind.