Microblog Monday--Happy Anniversary Mom

Dear Mom,

I have my first byline.  My first paid byline, mom!  It's in the online magazine Kveller. I think it is right--the name. That's what you would have been doing--you'd be kvelling.

Dad had his birthday and then, six days later was your anniversary.

It's a hard day.

For sixty-four years June nineteenth was a celebration of love. The kind of love that you had. The yell at each other, make up, hold hands for a while kind of love. The sleep in a chair by your love's hospital bed kind of love. That's what we celebrated every June Nineteenth. That's what my sister celebrated when she chose it as her wedding day.

Now, now it's a day where we try to act like we don't remember how you would do stuff. We made no mention of the fact that it was your anniversary when we celebrated father's day, and my sister's anniversary. No mention at all.

I didn't handle that part so well. Even though dad was with his new girlfriend, I had to talk about you. I had to remember you. We talked about you and baseball. How a client took you to the famous Don Larson Perfect Game. You came home sad and down because "No one hit anything. No one got a run. " We laughed. We missed you. I needed to remember.

I need to remember that your blood is still in my veins. Your heart still beats with my heart.  I am here. I am here and since I am, you are still here.

When I am gone. When I am where you are, my blood does not flow through Lotus' veins.  But my heart will still beat. I have given her my heart and yours too.

I miss you mom. Happy what would have been your 67th anniversary.

Schuyler Sister--IF Sister

Yesterday was the Tony Awards.

Since Lotus came home we have watched the beginning of the Tony Awards together.  The first time, when Neil Patrick Harris hosted, she adored. We kept it on our DVR for ages because she would love to watch the first number over and over. Then, when Hugh Jackman hosted the Tonys and began it by bouncing around Lotus jumped instead of walked for weeks. Last year she was getting over being sick, so I watched the Tonys after she went to sleep. Because Lotus loves some of the Hamilton soundtrack ("Play the shot song, mommy!" )  I was looking forward to watching some of the Tonys with her.

She liked the opening song, then got bored and played by herself for a bit. She's four, she does that now. But she crawled back on my lap when I started to cry listening to Renee Elise Goldsberry's acceptance speech.

Renee Elise Goldsberry played Angelica Schuyler in Hamilton. She won their first award of the night.  But the part of her speech that made me cry was this.

"and lastly I would just love to say that if you know anything about me, I've spent the last 10 years of my life what some would consider the life blood of a woman's career just trying to have children, and I can testify in front of all of you that the Lord gave me Benjamin and Brielle and then he still gave me this! Thank you!" 

I cried because there, at the pinnacle of her career, a woman spoke about infertility. I cried because there was someone who knew what I had gone through.  There was a woman who had spent time with a sore ass because of the meds and a battered heart as she cried after a failed cycle. 

She played a Schuyler sister, but she is my IF sister. She took the time out of her triumph to claim her kinship. I held my much-prayed-for child on my lap and cried tears of happiness for her triumph. 

When you are dealing with infertility and fighting the battle of your body you have comrades in arms. People you would never have imagined understand you and have been where you are. God bless you Renee Elise Goldsberry, and give you all the luck and craziness of your children. You have a sister here--in me. And if you wanted to get your sister tickets to Hamilton...I would't mind.

Trade Me by Courtney Milan

This book.

This book.

It blew me away.

I don't like the New Adult romance genre spawned by the 50 Shades trilogy as a general rule.  However when a story comes along like this I owe it to myself and romance fans to talk about it.

First, look at that beautiful non-white woman on the cover. I am so tired of the lack of diversity in romance that this was reason enough to buy this book.

Second, I would like to discuss a problem I have with most New Adult romance books.  Most books in the genre have a protagonist--or two--in college.  My issue has always been how come these college-educated people are doing such stupid things! The main characters in Trade Me talk about the decision making processes--such as they are.

Third, chemistry. Oh the chemistry between these two fully realized characters is so hot that if you put a container of ice-cream over the book it would melt!

Fourth, the organic use of characters. Tina--our heroine--has a roommate who used to be a man. Blake--our hero--is mourning the loss of his father's partner.  Any one of these characters and plot twists could, in the hands of a lesser author, be sensationalized. Here it is just a simple turn.

I think that's what I like most about this book--stunning simplicity. When done right simplicity makes for a wonderful romance.

Read this book and enjoy!

I'm with her

I was very moved by Hillary's speech.

I thought of my mom.

My mother voted for Hillary in 2008.

My mother was born in 1927. She was the second woman to graduate her university with a major of world trade. Now it would be called international finance.

Nothing offended my mother more than willful ignorance. I think it is understandable that she didn't like Sarah Palin.  But she wanted to see a woman president very much.

She would have liked yesterday.

Breaking the Fast

Work-wise and getting things done - wise, last week pretty much sucked.

However, as I plod along trying to take steps forward in my grief I believe I have turned a corner.

Last week, I read.

I don't mean read news sites and blog posts I mean books.
I don't mean I listened to books--though I am in the middle of a long audiobook and I listened to it.

I mean I read.

Five books in seven days.

Five new books that I have never read before.
Five books that are not written by Nora Roberts.

When my cousin, who lost both of her parents, told me that I would have problems reading, I didn't believe her.  Reading and books are what got me through bad times. To a point it still did. I was reading and rereading the work of Nora Roberts.  When I tried to read new books--I put them down.

Something happened. The dam of my TBR (to be read) pile crashed down and I picked up a new book and finished it. I grabbed another new book and did the same.  If I wasn't with my husband or daughter I was reading, getting lost in words and worlds. I was staying up late reading to find out what happens next. I plan to be reviewing some of the books in later posts, but I can say that the biggest surprise of the books was Trade Me by Courtney Milan.  Mainly because I don't like "New Adult" fiction usually--but this was a massive exception.

Anyone read any really good books lately? Because it seems that now I'm ready to.

Summary of current events

Here is my summary of current events:

Cincinnati gorilla

You weren't there. Kids get away quicker than you think. Stop berating the mother.

Bernie Sanders

I appreciate you staying in until the very end. That being said, the situation is no more rigged against you than it was against Hillary in 2008. Saying it is makes you look like a child. Condoning the violence and horrific harassment in Nevada lost you my vote. If you won't protect your democratic rival's rights, how do I know you will protect mine?

Hillary Clinton

I don't give a flying fig about your emails.  Turn the conversation to why the state department doesn't have better security than my gmail account.

Donald Trump

Shut up. Just shut up.

Anything else?