Monday, August 3, 2015

Microblog Monday: Facets



Well the Will It Grill Party went off amazingly. The surprise Will It Grill was Starbursts.  Seriously, next time you grill out, take a skewer, put a Starburst on it and grill it. OH WOW!!!!

Lotus liked the party.
Kinda. 

Well she liked having her cousin and friends here to play with. Until they started trying to share her toys and then she didn't.
At one point she seemed to have--ENOUGH. She went to her room, got out Little Lambie. (A small version of the Doc McStuffins stuffed animal) and came over to me. I was talking to some people but I saw her with Little Lambie who she had specifically put away so no one else would play with him and I picked her up. Found that her pull-up was full and went to change her so we were alone.

I changed her and she hugged me and said
"I want my mommy."
I wasn't too clear on what she meant. Did she mean me? But I was right here. Did she mean China Mommy? She hasn't yet asked for her but that could be it.
"I'm right here hon."
She gave a non-verbal kind of thing. Then said it again. "I want my mommy."
I stroked her face so she met my eyes.
"Aren't I mommy?"
"You're Pamela."

I got it then.

She was seeing a different side of me. Mommy, as she knew it was 100% engaged in Lotus. Lotus came first in every single thing.  But we had a party going on. There were around 16 people there and kids running around and I was hostessing.  (Is that a verb? It should be.)
She liked having her cousins and the people nearby but she was done right now and wanted her mommy. So I picked her up, got her some food, and held her in my arms while she ate some potato chips and gave me some. As if Lotus was a shield no one came and talked to me, so we were utterly focused on each other. I got hugs and kisses and giggles. Then her cousin came over and said "Come ON!" and Lotus hopped off my lap and ran after her---giggling. I went back to other guests.
It wasn't the first--by any measure--party we have had since Lotus had been home. Talking to D about it, he said that she needs to see that I am a complete person. I do other things besides be Mommy. I agree.
How do other parents resolve the many aspects of themselves into their parenting?

2 comments:

  1. So interesting! I love that she could distinguish between those two hats and say, "uh, no, I want you in mommy mode." The twins express sometimes that they don't like to share me, especially when I'm in their school, helping other kids.

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  2. It was a challenge for me in Boo's earlier years, but as he's learned to share and make friends over the years, it's a lot easier. When he was 3 we had a birthday party for him and like you, I was hostessing and running around doing this and that. I was shocked when I found out he had become distraught because he couldn't see me at one point. So then we developed a sign language just for the two of us, a quick way to say I love you, he knew with a quick glance that I was with him.

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