Monday, December 21, 2015

Microblog Monday--Christmas, Chanukah, and the light at our table

Today is the winter solstice.

It is no accident that Christmas is around this time. It is the darkest part of the year and the light comes back.

I like that Chanukah is the same time--and the light gets greater as the days go on.

I've been absent.

The grief you see. The grief is also a part of the darkness.

Thanksgiving is--was--mom's favorite holiday. She loved having us all around her table, feeding us and talking and stuff.
Last year we tried so hard to be good to each other.
This year not so much. This year we also had mom's unveiling.  That was hard. Seeing the gravestone with mom's name. Seeing the dual gravestone waiting for my dad. That was awful. At the ceremony the rabbi had dad take the "veil" off the gravestone. I could see on his face that he was thinking of the moment when the took the veil off my mother at their wedding. Over 65 years later he was taking the veil off her grave--not where he thought it was headed at the time.

Grief comes in waves, I've been told. The wave this year started around the unveiling and didn't recede until after mom's birthday. What would have been mom's birthday.

Now though the light is starting to come back.

My darling Lotus loved Chanukah. She's leary of Santa Clause but I'm hopeful that Christmas will be a hit. I'm having people over who are Jewish on Christmas day.

Hoping the light of friendship and love fills your face, your heart, and your life at this time of year and always.


  1. Sending a hug. I always think it's important to be there for an unveiling, but it's a hard ceremony because it brings back up the grief in this very tangible way. You're back in the graveyard, back thinking about the burial. It's really hard. I'm glad the light is coming back.

  2. I'm so sorry about your mom, and your tough year grieving her loss. Keep focused on your daughter, because that's what your mom would want. I lost my dad this year after a long, long illness. I miss him so much. But I have little kids, too, and every time I get too down I see my dad admonishing me and saying, "Don't you DARE. Life is for the living! Go take those kids to the park and have fun!" And I do. It helps, I think, too. Lots of fresh air and sunshine and being grateful for being born to such loving parents in the first place. Sending healing thoughts to you and your family.