Today is the winter solstice.
It is no accident that Christmas is around this time. It is the darkest part of the year and the light comes back.
I like that Chanukah is the same time--and the light gets greater as the days go on.
I've been absent.
The grief you see. The grief is also a part of the darkness.
Thanksgiving is--was--mom's favorite holiday. She loved having us all around her table, feeding us and talking and stuff.
Last year we tried so hard to be good to each other.
This year not so much. This year we also had mom's unveiling. That was hard. Seeing the gravestone with mom's name. Seeing the dual gravestone waiting for my dad. That was awful. At the ceremony the rabbi had dad take the "veil" off the gravestone. I could see on his face that he was thinking of the moment when the took the veil off my mother at their wedding. Over 65 years later he was taking the veil off her grave--not where he thought it was headed at the time.
Grief comes in waves, I've been told. The wave this year started around the unveiling and didn't recede until after mom's birthday. What would have been mom's birthday.
Now though the light is starting to come back.
My darling Lotus loved Chanukah. She's leary of Santa Clause but I'm hopeful that Christmas will be a hit. I'm having people over who are Jewish on Christmas day.
Hoping the light of friendship and love fills your face, your heart, and your life at this time of year and always.
