Monday, November 12, 2018

Hmm. Now why don't she write?

Yeah. It's been a bit.

Here's why.


I had it.

I'm still recovering.

I spent a week sick. I went to the doctor who sent me to the hospital for nearly another week. I came home and was barely able to move for falling asleep.

It's hard to explain how it feels to be so weak. How it feels to tell my daughter that mommy can't right now and needs to nap. The fear in her eyes as she saw me in the hospital. I'm still not back at 100%, I'd say I was about back to 70%.

What else is going on.

My oldest niece got married.
The less said the better.
The ceremony was beautiful. The reception was not.
And I'm looking at my oldest niece and wondering what became of the little girl I adored. In her place is this bridezilla who managed to hand out emotional gut-punches at her wedding the way I handed out Milky-ways on halloween.

Since then I invited her to Thanksgiving to try to set a new tone to our relationship. I have since been ghosted. No answer. No response to my many queries. So I'm assuming she and her new husband won't be here. After a long talk with my husband I realized that I don't miss the person I just saw--I miss the one who I watched grow.  And to be honest, I'll be missing her father, mother, and sister--my youngest niece who has a good head on her shoulders, kindness in abundance, and a boyfriend who appreciates both--more than I will miss the older one. But family shifts are like earthquakes and they aren't fun.

More later--the 70% is almost up.

1 comment:

  1. Oh my! I'm sorry you haven't been well, and I hope you get that other 30% back soon!